I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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