my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
