living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
