i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
