he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
