Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
