She said her name was "party"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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