whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize