She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
