Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
