i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
