I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
