I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
