He kissed a someone with a penis
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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