turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
