I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
