I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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