i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
