TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
