Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
