I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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