Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
