I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
