two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
