You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
