She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up under a house in Key West
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