Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
