You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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