The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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