im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
