yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
