Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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