you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
