I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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