There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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