They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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