then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
