so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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