Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
