your thong is hanging out like whoa
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
