So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
