Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
