Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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