it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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