I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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