Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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