I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
