I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
