I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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