you have to choose: penises or morals?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
