im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
