Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
