dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
