I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
