Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
NoShamevember. You game?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
