And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
