instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Even my vagina gasped.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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