Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
